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Joe Thomas Admits He’s Never Learned The Name of Any Browns’ Quarterback
Cleveland, OH - Browns' all-pro offensive tackle Joe Thomas set a jaw-dropping NFL record Sunday when he surpassed 10,000 consecutive snaps without ever coming...
CEO Resigns After Eating Cathy’s Lunch
Shares of moist towelette manufacturer Whette Inc. fell 9% Thursday on news that co-founder and long-time CEO Eric Rhodes resigned after being caught eating...
Op-ed: The Toy Under The Couch Is Never Coming Back
It happened again. I swore it never would, but it did. I lost control of my favorite scrunchy foil ball and it went under...
Stopping Priests From Molesting Children Conspicuously Absent From Church’s List of Pope’s Miracles
From the earliest days of Pope Francis' reign, saint watchers pegged the wildly popular pontiff as a strong candidate for eventual canonization. Las Vegas...
President Denounces Hate On All Sides Of Hate Crime
Bedminster, NJ - With golf course flags at half-mast, the President of the United States unequivocally denounced the barbarous violence perpetrated by all sides...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...