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Scaramucci Fucks America On First Date; Never Calls Back
Washington D.C. - Confimring everything America already thought about men, Anthony Scaramucci reportedly ghosted the Nation last week after the two had sex on...
Diminishing Roll Losing Hope It Will Ever Be Mounted
Shared Bathroom, USA - Propped upon the proudly mounted cardboard carcass of a formerly plump roll of bathroom tissue, yet another fast-diminishing...
God Insists Alex Trebek Put Prayer In Form of Question
Culver City, CA - Still reeling from his recent diagnoses with stage-4 pancreatic cancer, beloved quiz-show host Alex Trebek was dismayed Friday...
White House Unveils Festive Christmas Cross
Washington D.C. - In a bold departure from Christmas tradition, the White House unveiled a festive burning lawn-cross as part of its Holiday decorations Tuesday. The...
Electronic Supergroup ‘Flying Flotus’ To Release Surprise Album
Los Angeles, CA - Experimental Electronic music fans around the world were thrilled this morning with the announcement that Supergroup FLYING FLOTUS will be...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...