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ISIS Addresses Declining Martyr Recruitment By Upping Reward From 72 to 94 Virgins
In an unexpected and possibly desperate move, ISIS announced Wednesday that it is increasing its standard offer of 72 post-martyrdom virgins to a whopping...
New iPhone OS Terms And Conditions Contract To Offer “Agree To Disagree” Option
In an apparent effort to appease unhappy iPhone users off-put by some of the more draconian clauses hidden in the most recent update of...
Study: Day-Drinking Tied To Higher Incidence of Going To Bed On Time
Pasadena, CA - A study published Tuesday by researchers at Caltech found a surprising correlation between consumption of copious amounts of alcohol during the...
O.J. Relieved To Finally Be Away From All Those Black People
After serving nine years in prison following his conviction for a 2007 armed robbery, newly released hall-of-fame running back O.J. Simpson reported Sunday that...
Internet Divided Over Whether Yanni Sounds Like Music Or Ear Torture
Just three years ago, a debate over the color of a dress nearly broke the internet. Now, a four-second audio clip of the Greek...
LATEST ARTICLES
Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...